Looking for Love

             Ever hear the saying "You're looking for love in all the wrong places"?  I feel like the universe is telling me I am, because where the hell is love?! I would love to know, dear universe, where I am supposed to look for love, if I'm looking in the wrong places? I mean, maybe I'm 'out of the loop' but where exactly does one look for love? I don't get out much, so my locations to find love are pretty limited. Work, the gym, pre-school and the grocery store. So, let's go ahead and break this on down Barney style....
Work- Pretty slim pickings, most of the customers are either 1. Old, 2. Grumpy 3. Old and Grumpy or 4. Just plain disgusting. Very rarely do we get a fine specimen like Skoal Mint Pouches, Basic Lights (Before he was poor, and got hooked on chocolate covered glazers) or the Man that Debbie Loves, and even when we do, they are not regular customers, and let's face it, they are in love with super models, and will never let us have their babies.
The Gym- The few people I have seen at the gym while I'm there? Super freaky fast, who I know is married, and the rest of the gym goers consist of old men, really hot girls who don't even NEED to be there, or gorillas.
Pre-school- Rebecca has been in school for about a month and a half now, and believe me, I've checked every dad's ring finger that I see....all have a nice shiny little band on them. Boo.
The Grocery Store- This is where is gets iffy. I mean, I guess it's absolutely probable to find love while skimming the produce or picking out a nice pork chop, but how do you even start that conversation? "Wow, I see you picked out a really nice block of cheese, you want to come over, eat it and then fall madly in love with me?"

There is also the whole "It will come when you're not looking for it" "Give it time" Yeah yeah. I don't want to wait, I want love to find me like yesterday. So Universe I say to you...Here I am, send him my way. I'm ready.

And if any of you reading this know him (him being, the love of my life I have yet to meet) don't wait for the universe. Give him my number, email and address.