Coming up with the perfect name.

This is my first blog. Ever. How do people usually start these things?

I'm Heather, I'm a feisty Sagittarius who likes long walks on the beach, I use way more parenthesis than grammatically necessary, and who (in no particular order) loves food, friends, wine and to exaggerate to the extreme.

I've been thinking of writing a blog for a while now, I mean, I'm a terrible writer. I hardly use correct punctuation, and tend to have major run on sentences, but if I keep using my Facebook as a diary, I am probably going to lose 2/3 of my friends due to the random shit that gets posted every ten minutes. I even started making a list of all the things I could write about. (No, I can't give you the list! I have to have something to keep you 3 people reading this to come back to!) The first thing on my list was a name. I needed something awesome, witty and totally me. A friend told me to name it "Love fury" I told him I can't mislead people into thinking this is going to be some deep and insightful blog. It's not. It's going to be filled with lolcats and random stories and thoughts (that are neither deep nor meaningful). Another friend suggested "I'm like that guy on the subway, I know you don't care about my overactive bladder, but I'm still going to tell you about it-and other things" Which, I have to say, fits me perfectly, because if I were to have an overactive bladder, I would absolutely tell you about it. It's just too long. What if this blog becomes hugely famous? Everybody will be like "Did you read the new 'Past Imperfect'?" You won't ever hear somebody say "Did you see the new 'I'm like that guy on the subway....'?" By the time they get to the end of the name, I will have posted a NEW rambling blog, and they will just get confused. I didn't name it that because I know that exact situation will play out if I did. That's just the way the world works.

I read all these blogs written by these smart, beautiful women who write about cooking amazing dishes, cleaning, applying makeup like a movie star....yadda yadda. I've finally started to master rice on the stove, I have to call my mother every trip I make to the grocery store to ask where something is, and even on my best day I still poke myself in the eye with my mascara. I'm far from perfect. Like light years away. I'm a single mom trying to make ends meet and give my daughter the best she deserves. I figure "Past Imperfect" fits. It's also the name of a book I read for about 30 pages until something new caught my eye. It gets great reviews on Amazon, so check it out, I know I (eventually) will.

So going back to my list, I've got it, and I will keep adding to it, and hopefully cover a variety of topics to interest everybody. I also promise to try and keep the F bombs to a minimum, but lets face it, sometimes the story just isn't the same without one. I'm not looking to embarrass any of my friends/family, so I promise to try and get permission, and if they don't give it to me I will change names, dates and locations. (Kidding, mostly. I will keep all your feelings in mind.)

How long are blogs? I'm not trying to write a novel. I mean, character development, and plot twists are beyond me. I'm just trying to brighten some peoples' days and get a few chuckles, hopefully that happens or I will just feel like an utter failure, and have to eat like a gallon of Americone Dream ice cream. So basically, if you like what you've read, keep coming back (please!) and send all your friends over too. I welcome comments, praise, criticism (of the constructive kind) and will never say no to gifts, gummy bears or marriage proposals.

Ciao for now!