So, unfortunately since getting a sewing machine for Christmas.....I haven't used it. I did take it out of the box, and set it up, just to realize I had no fabric, or needles, pins or thread. A few hours at JoAnn's and Michaels later....and I am all set to sew. Next step...find the time. I would LOVE to make a quilt. One day. I swear. I should probably start small though. Nobody wants a quilt from a woman who can't even sew a button back onto a coat. (A 4 hour ordeal. Ongoing.)
It's been over a month since my last blog, and here's why...I don't want to bore people. My life is extremely mundane. Wake up, get daughter to school, go to gym, get daughter from school, build lego towns, drop daughter off at Mom's and then go to school, go to bed. Eventually I shower, work, do homework and the rest of my adult responsibilities. Who wants to hear about my MBA1 Computer class? Or the fact that I had zero time to do laundry last week so I ended up digging in the storage unit for a clean shirt to wear. (True story, I hate to admit.) The thing is, I get these very infrequent strokes of genius and either A) Forget them when I have time to sit down and blog or B) Cannot elaborate on them. It's hard. Out of all the things that I have wanted to post in the last month, here is the biggest one, the one that I keep coming back to.
Here's a disclaimer first though:
Mom, I love you, and I know you will eventually see this, and I just want you to know it's not your fault, seriously. You're the best mom anybody could have.
I want everyone in my life to know this one little fact. This ONE thing that every person on this planet should know and do. Looking back, it just seems like common sense, but hindsight is 20/20, right?
Don't ever be afraid to be yourself, and once you find yourself, stick with it and embrace it.
Again, it sounds so stinking simple. Growing up, I had a lot of different influences in my life, some great, some good, and some not so good. For so long, I struggled with doing what everyone wanted me to do, or how they wanted me to act, and who I wanted to be, and how I wanted to act. I have always been so envious of people who when they are young know exactly what they want to be when they grow up, or find the person they want to be with so young. It took me so long to figure life out, and I still am finding my way. I had a 3 year old, hardly a semester of college and a failed marriage under my belt when I was 23 and started figuring out who I really am. Two years later, and I am still trying to navigate myself and my life. Looking back at my childhood (here's where the disclaimer comes in) I never really remember my mom, or my Oma (who is the 2nd biggest influence in my life, after my mother) telling me all those cliche things... to follow my heart, that I can be great, to do what I want and see where it leads me. Not that they didn't tell me, maybe they did, I just don't remember. Either way, I wish they would have made it a point to tell me that while I will fail at some things, I will be a success at others. So,all this rambling leads to one (very long) bottom line:
If you have kids, or even if you don't and are struggling, like me, just remember to be yourself. It's hard, maybe we never really find our whole selves, like our lives are just one big journey to find that person we strive to become, but when you find it, or even just a sliver of that person, don't let go of it. Embrace it, fight for it, and don't lose it.
